Pride Week: A View from the Outside…

…or Why I Can’t Be a Lesbian

By Gamal Hennessy

I’m not a lesbian. I spent time among lesbians, in their bars and at their parties. I submitted an application and studied for the entrance exam. I had good recommendations from respected and accomplished lesbians. I loved women and I was eager to learn more. I didn’t know it at the time, but I even shared the same brain structure with lesbians.

Even with all this going for me…I failed.

Some would assume I was rejected based on anatomy. I actually think I just couldn’t handle the social pressure.

Some would assume I was rejected based on anatomy. I actually think I just couldn’t handle the social pressure.

There are internal pressures in the lesbian community that I refer to as the “small town” effect. It’s like dating someone in your office, or dating someone in a small town where everyone knows everyone else. The only difference here is that you really can’t quit your job or move out of this town.

Let me clarify; there are only so many lesbians and only so many places lesbians go to meet other lesbians. The community isn’t large, even in a city as big as New York. So if you’re a lesbian, almost every girl you meet already has a connection to you, even if you have never heard of them. They’re already friends, enemies, current lovers or ex-lovers of one your friends, enemies or current lovers or ex-lovers. There is no clean slate. You can’t separate her from her social situation. When you meet her, you have to quickly try and figure out where she fits in the fluid and Byzantine arrangement of women.

If you hook up or date, you might start to share friends and enemies, which can be disconcerting if former friends are no longer welcomed or former enemies are now OK. If and when you break up, the whole structure shifts. New barriers go up, former friendships are strained and who is going to show up at what party now becomes a source of stress as everyone tries to adjust to changing circumstances. Multiply this several hundred times and my little brain can’t handle all the permutations.

Before I submitted my application, I took for granted my ability to date someone who had no connection to me. I could project whatever persona would appeal to her without my past indiscretions getting back to her from someone else. When we broke up, my circle of friends was intact. That doesn’t work here.

Now you can see why I’m not a lesbian. I’m just not smart enough.

Keep in mind I’m not even including the external social pressures on lesbians or the normal issues of education, money, religion, family upbringing and social standing that make any long term relationship difficult. It is a wonder that anyone lasts for any amount of time in this system. This situation might be similar with gay men and bisexuals, but I don’t have any first hand observation of this.

I have witnessed ways around the small town effect, although they are not universally effective. She can find someone hundreds of miles away from where she lives. This will remove her from the network and allow for a relationship to grow without the pressure I just described. The only problem here is the pressure of a long distance relationship replaces the small town effect. She can go online, but the online and offline worlds overlap. The small town effect might just invade her laptop so she can’t escape even if she stays home.

There are girls who make this work and are enjoying the lesbian dating scene in spite of the pressure that we put on them and that they put on themselves. I applaud them for being able to do it. I know I’m just not qualified.

Happy Pride Week
G

Can We Keep Clubs Open? A NYN Special Report

By Gamal Hennessy

Behind the scenes of New York’s constant nightlife party there is a struggle for control. The outcome of this conflict will dictate where and how you enjoy New York bars and clubs. A few weeks ago, we published Last Call to explain this situation from the point of view of the bars and clubs. This article will bring other influential groups into the debate. While NYN maintains its position as an advocate for nightlife, we feel our readers need to understanding the perspective of the other players involved will make all of us better informed about the issue.

Can We Keep Clubs Open? Part II

By Gamal Hennessy

This is the second part of our Special Report on Community Boards and New York Nightlife.

Can We Keep Clubs Open? Part III

By Gamal Hennessy

On Tuesday and Wednesday we started looking at the discord between New York nightlife, local community boards and the role that the State Liquor Authority plays between them. Today we’re going to try and provide some editorial context for all of this and a suggestion for what should happen next…

Nightlife vs. Real Life

Real life and nightlife are two different worlds that we inhabit. Part of the magic about nightlife is that you can be the person you want to be there. The identity that society imposes on you in real life doesn’t have to apply. Money, looks, personal connections and audacity mean a lot in both areas, but things are more fluid and flexible in nightlife….

The Other Side of Bottle Service

A Special Report

by Gamal Hennessy

Where Does Nightlife End and the Sex Trade Begin?

An Editorial by Gamal Hennessy

Merkato 55, LPR and the Bar Awards

The New York Nights Club Report for March 13th, 2008

NYN Insider

When I started NYN in 2004 I only had a vague understanding of nightlife in the city. I knew it was complicated. I knew it was big. That was about it. I didn’t know where to go, or how to get in, or how much things cost.

So I went out to a lot of different types of places. I kept notes on which places catered to which people. I paid attention to how things worked. I tended bar, I became a DJ, I talked to comedians, musicians, owners and bouncers. And I drank a lot.

Since then, I’ve found out a lot about the different areas of the city and the different types of clubs in each area. Friends, co-workers and random people I never met before found out what I was doing and started to ask me for help when they were planning a night out.

Hey G, I’m taking this girl out for a date. Where should I take her?

My birthday is next week, where should I have my party?

Where is the best place for a drink around here?

What’s the best new club?

I’d talk to them about what they liked, what they disliked, and what was available. The more people I helped, the more people would come to me when they wanted to go out. It happened often enough that I came up with a system to give people choices on where to go and what to do. Then they could make up their own minds and have a good time.

I didn’t consider it a part of New York Nights. It was just something random I did for friends. A couple of weeks ago I started reading about websites offering personal fashion advice. I started thinking; “why not offer personal advice to people who are planning a party?” I’ve got the website. I’ve got the system. All I needed was a name. I decided to call it NYN Insider because it would give people the same insight on nightlife that an insider has.

Now I can do my part to make New York a better place, one party at a time.

Have fun.

G

If you want to take advantage of NYN Insider just contact me.

The Connection between Social Networks and Club Life

By Gamal Hennessy

The second article in the Technology issue looks at the link between networks and club life

Use the banner to read more...

NYN Weekly Recap for November 26th 2007

Nightlife News

Drinking
Rising Beer Prices Coming to 2008 (Michael Rundle- Metro)
You might go to the bar for a few drinks to forget about the rising cost of living and the crazy stock market. But higher prices are everywhere. They might hit your beer glass very soon.

Music
More Musicians Opt for 360 Deals (Jeff Leeds- New York Times)
Artists like Madonna, Prince and Radiohead have forced the music industry to rethink the way they make money. Their newest model is to go beyond selling CDs and hoping that they’ll find one mega hit to pay for ten mediocre bands. The new idea is to draw a band into a 360 deal.

Safety
New wrinkle in St. Gullien murder case (Neel Shah- Radar Online)
Darryl Littlejohn is currently being held in Riker’s Island for the kidnapping torture, rape, murder and mutilation of Imette St. Guillen. He has been in jail since April, but it has only recently been brought to light that Littlejohn was an informant for state and federal law enforcement.

Editorial
The Cure for New York Nightlife (Gamal Hennessy- New York Nights)
Last week we took a look at the way the nightlife environment has changed from its peak to the situation we have today. This week we find out what we can do to inject new life into the club scene.

The Club Report:
Rubyfruit
Tenjune
The Knitting Factory

Regular Features

Locate Any Bar in the City

Find all the Major Nightlife Websites in One Place

Create Your Free Connections Profile

Real Time Traffic and Weather Links

The Cure for New York Nightlife (A NYN Editorial)

Last week we took a look at the way the nightlife environment has changed from its peak to the situation we have today. This week we find out what we can do to inject new life into the club scene.

Read about it in part two of our editorial “The Cure for New York Nightlife”.



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A NYN Editorial (Is New York Nightlife Dead?)

Is New York Nightlife Dead?

(The First in a Two Part Editorial)

By Gamal Hennessy

Rest in Peace?
There is certain level of malaise floating through the city when it comes to nightlife. This general dissatisfaction stems from the concept that the golden age of club life in New York is long gone. You can read it in the club reviews from magazines. You can hear it from people who ran the clubs in the 80’s and 90’s.

They say that the New York nightlife scene is dead.

The evidence to support this concept is pretty strong. Legendary spots like Studio 54, Palladium and Limelight have been gone for years, replaced by theaters and NYU dorms. AIDS and drugs hit the club scene harder than almost any other segment of society and killed many of club pioneers. Major acts like Bob Dylan or Madonna rarely bubble out of the club scene now. Today we watch them hatch on American Idol. The cabaret and ‘quality of life’ laws of the Giuliani era have been a further drag on a once very decadent environment. Bottle service and VIP rooms have changed the focus of many clubs from pleasure to business. Other cities like San Francisco or Atlanta or Montreal have become the places to party. Things have changed a lot over the past few years.

But does that mean that our nightlife scene is gone? Have we missed the chance to enjoy New York nightlife?

Click on the image to read the full story from New York Nights.

Hurt by the Quality of Life? (A NYN Editorial)

By Gamal Hennessy

Since the early 1990’s, nightclub culture in New York has not been actively supported by local authorities and community groups. In many instances it is being attacked under quality of life ordinances that are ostensibly designed to make New York a better place to live. While many of the quality of life goals are admirable, they are also used by some to further specific discrimination agendas and political campaigns including the 2008 presidential race. However, instead of enhancing New York life, attacks on clubs arguably hurt the city and the people who live in it.

Background

There are three specific methods that the city uses to police bars, lounges and nightclubs beyond the standard criminal statutes including denial of liquor licenses (as reported in the September 9th, September 13th and October 9th editions of Nightlife News), aggressive club closings (as reported in the August 29th, August 31st, September 1st and September 27th editions of Nightlife News , and the continued enforcement of the city’s cabaret laws that prohibits dancing in any venue without a license. Although this law was challenged in 2005, it has been upheld in state court as recently as February of 2007. The use of these and other methods to control clubs is seen as an act that reduces crime.

Point
But the question remains open on whether these or any of the quality of life ordinances actually decrease crime and increase the quality of life. A popular economic theory rejects this concept.
Crime statistics did fall during the early 90’s. Rudy Giuliani, who was mayor of New York during that time period, claims that victory in the war on crime was due to his aggressive policing and quality of life controls . However Steven Levitt author of the best selling book Freakonomics holds that falling crime had more to do with than Roe v. Wade than Giuliani. The concept is called the legalized abortion and crime effect.
Basically, the more unwanted children there are in a society, the more criminals there will be when those children grow up, because they will have fewer resources and economic opportunities available to them. When the Supreme Court legalized abortion in 1973, it reduced the total number of unwanted children generated in the society. In 1993, just when those children would have grown up into potential criminals, crime decreased because those children simply were not there. If you add the national economic turn around that came with the dot com boom of the early 90’s with the lower number of potential criminals, you can argue that crime decreased because of population control and economics, not aggressive policing or quality of life laws.



Counter Point
Even if you assume that crime did not decrease from inhibiting club life, it can be argued that there are other benefits to the city that come from quality of life laws. While it is true that controlling things like excessive noise and public urination are beneficial, suppressing nightlife hurts New York in the long term.
Nightlife in New York City fosters the growth of art, music and fashion. Elizabeth Currid goes to great lengths in her book the Warhol Economy to explain that the cultural breeding ground that produced Warhol, Basquait, Madonna and the entire hip hop genre is as vital to New York’s society as tourism or finance (See further coverage in the September 10th Edition of Nightlife News). The dilution of that environment eliminates a vital portion of the City. AM New York, a prominent New York daily newspaper, has been running a series of columns exploring the concept that New York is losing the very elements that make it a unique city because of, among other things, the aggressive control of nightlife.

New York thrives on its unique nature, which includes its nightlife. The city recently launched a campaign to attract more than 50 million tourists to the city by 2015 (reported in the October 11 edition of Nightlife News). Underage drinking, drug use, building hazards like the Happy Land Social Club Fires do exist within the nightlife environment. Dealing with these issues are legitimate concerns for any city. But we have a choice. We can deal with them in the context of supporting nightlife or we can deal with them by attacking nightlife itself. While attacks on clubs are an easy political target because club patrons don’t normally take action, the risk of backlash is high because the economic fallout that comes with closing the clubs can ultimately damage the political aspirations of any politician.

Please submit your questions or comments to gamal@newyorknightsonline.com

The Reasons We Go Out (A NYN Editorial)

By Gamal Hennessy

People usually have reasons for why they do things. We go to work to make money. We eat because we’re hungry. We fall asleep on the train because we’re tired. We may not consciously know why we do certain things, but if we think about it, we can usually figure out the reason.

So why do we go out at night? It can deprive us of sleep, money and the chance to watch reality TV if we don’t turn on the TiVo. We put something into nightlife. Do we get anything out of it?

I think there are as many reasons for going out as there are people who go out. But after three years of non-scientific, anecdotal, and random observation, I’ve come up with seven broad categories to define why we go out. Six of them can be lumped under the concept of ‘having fun’, and one is just closer to work (but much better than being in the office). Take a look and figure out which category fits you best.

Consumption: (The things we take in)
For some people its beer. For others it’s dirty martinis. Some of us want to eat and some of us want things that the DEA would bust you for. It doesn’t really matter what your particular poison is, a big part of nightlife is about eating, drinking and smoking freely. The reason wine bars, micro brew bars, and hookah bars do so well is because we are willing to pay to satisfy our hunger to imbibe.

Connection: (The people we meet)
You meet a friend at a bar for a drink when she wants to talk. You go out for happy hour after work with your co-workers to bitch about your boss. You might have girl’s night out once a month. You might cruise the hotels bars for cougars. Humans are social creatures. We have a need to connect with one another. At work and at home, you are constrained in your behavior and limited in the people you can interact with. When you go out, the walls come down. You can talk and act more freely. You can meet people for a minute or forge bonds that last for years. The connection might be intense or shallow, but the energy is different at night.

Entertainment: (The things we see and hear)
The chance to see, hear or feel something is a huge part of nightlife. You might be listening to an unknown comic or garage band one night and part of the insane crowds at a Police or Danny Tenaglia concert the next night. Entertainment can be something as innocent as watching a baseball game at a local bar or as corrupt as the champagne room at a local strip club (actually, it can get worse than that, but you get the idea). It’s been said that one man’s porn is another man’s art, and no where is that more true than New York at night. What you want to see and hear at night actually says a lot about how you see yourself as a person.

Flash: (The wealth we display)
There are people who want to be seen spending big money on table service. They want you to see their Mercedes SUV. They want to drop a couple hundred on a cover to a place the rest of us may not be able to get into. The idea of a discount or happy hour makes them cringe. Why? Because they are living the glamorous life. Consumption here isn’t as important as being able to afford the consumption. If you have the money (or just want to look that way) you want the car, the clothes and the Grey Goose. What better place to display your status than in the clubs?

Obligation: (The social debt)
There are times that we go out when we don’t really want to. The client is in town from Kansas. Someone has to take them out. Tag, you’re it. You’re girlfriend’s brother is having a birthday party. She’s going, so you’re going. Tag, you’re it. You’re friend just got fired, dumped, rejected for the cast of Real World 37. They want you to meet them for a drink. Tag, you’re it. This is the only reason for going out that might not be fun, but compared to being stuck in your office or bored at home, it’s not that bad, is it?

Release: (The temporary escape)
Sometimes you need a break. You can’t sit in your cubical anymore. If your boss calls you one more time about TPS reports, you’re going to cut someone. You’ve tried to like Deal or No Deal and its just not working for you. You need to dance. You need to spend time with your friends. You need to get away from the desk and the Blackberry and the TV for a few hours. Going out isn’t as long as a vacation, but you don’t have to get frisked by Homeland Security to get into the club.

Sex: (The common theme)
Expressions of sexuality can be found in almost every aspect of nightlife. The clothing is tighter and more revealing. The conversation has more carnal energy. Inhibitions are lowered with alcohol. The movements on the dance floor don’t leave anything to the imagination. Nightlife is a sexual metaphor on a city wide scale. It can be simple or elaborate, fun or dangerous, satisfying or forgettable, mysterious or revealing, expensive or cheap, all at the same time. Maybe that’s why so many people keep coming back to it night after night.

Of course, many of these categories overlap. Any of us might have several goals on any given night, making any club night an exercise in multi-tasking. But if you think about why you go out, you’ll have a better idea of what kind of place you want to go to and finding the right place for you will be much easier.

Have fun.
Gamal